I got two words for you.....

..... Justin Timberlake!!!

Someone should think twice about calling others homo's when you named your team "Bringing Sexy Back"AND continually played for every draft pick.

....FAG!!!

Attention All Blathering Owners!

Parker

Parker is quickly moving up the draft boards and will be a breakout star this season. I am happy to have him a part of the NJ Thrillers.

Chucky's Baaaaaaaacccccccck!

AP (New Brunswick, NJ) August 25th -Due to the now imfamous "Clayton Incident" Scope Creep owner Dan Greco was forced to unveil both his new head coach & mascot earlier than anticipated this afternoon. In New Brunswick, at a special press conference in "The Tower", Greco introduced John Gruden and his alter ego "Chucky" as his new Head Coach/Mascot combination.

As a stunned, seemingly frightened media looked on Greco noted that, "In a cost cutting environment, where job consolidation is prevalent, we decided to embark on a ground breaking concept of combining the roles of both Head Coach AND Mascot. And, from our perspective, there is no better a person to fill this role than John."

Gruden is a respected, championship caliber coach who's demeanor changes to almost "Chucky-like" when he needs to put the fear of god into his team. Greco further stated that,"We're truly excited about this move for our team and fan base. We now just need to and extra security during games AND tag everyone in case people start disappearing like at Gruden's last gig. But, that's neither here nor there, we are excited AND we're saving a s***load of money too!"

Gruden added that he was looking forward to the challenge of getting Scope Creep back the to championship in 2006. Chucky put the entire team on notice by stating that, "He would have no problem ripping into any player that did not live up to expectations".

Scope Creep begins its title defense against the NJ Thrillers on week 1. Tensions are already running high over the recent "Clayton" debacle and the Gruden/Chuckie signing will surely send a message to Coach, umm, Coach that Scope Creep is ready.

Hold the Phone!!!!!!!

AP (New Brunswick, NJ) August 25th - In a stunning move, the artist formerly known as "Coach", Mike Friedlander, has giddily claimed the signing of star WR Michael Clayton today. In a press release from the NJ Thrillers front office, "My first waiver pickup has been made and I am excited about it. Michael Clayton is now a part of the NJ Thrillers. There is no way that Joey Galloway is going to have the same year he had last year and Clayton will be the number 1 by week 4".

However, Michael Clayton's rights are held by the 2005 Champion Scope Creep squad and cannot be courted, nor signed by another team. Commissioner Derek "My team gets an A + + +" has launched a full scale investigation to see if the NJ Thrillers are guilty of tampering and would have to be subsquently be sanctioned.

Dan Greco, mastermind architect of the 2005 Champion Scope Creep team, declined to comment on the situation only to state that " I am sure our commissioner will do the right thing to ensure league integrity remains intact".

Oddly, Scope Creeps first opponent in 2006 is the NJ Thrillers. Coincidence? We think not.

The first move is made

My first waiver pickup has been made and I am excited about it. Michael Clayton is now a part of the NJ Thrillers. There is no way that Joey Galloway is going to have the same year he had last year and Clayton will be the number 1 by week 4.

To the Victor...Go the Spoils!

Draft recap will be up this week...

How Old Are We?

It's another Hollywood and the Madness adventure, straight out of 1999. Peep this itinerary:

Friday 6:00 PM: Pick up Derek in Framingham, drive to New Jersey, pick up Greco, and drive to Middleton, Delaware

Saturday 10:00 AM: Begin most complicated fantasy football draft EVER

Saturday 7:00 PM approx.: Derek puts on horsehead and rides broomstock

Sunday: 5:30 AM: Depart Delaware for return to Boston

Sunday: 1:00 PM: Interview WWE star John Cena at the Garden

Sunday: 7:00 PM: SUMMERSLAM at the Garden

Sunday 11:00 PM: Drop Derek off in Framingham

Sunday: 11:45 PM: Pass out from exhaustion

4th and Lynches Unveil Mascot

To all owners in The Main Event...Your Time is Up!

Fun Game

Match the bust pick with the Fantasy owner that made it:

1) Thomas Jones, Marcel Shipp, Troy Hambrick
2) Peyton Manning and Randy Moss (first two picks)
3) Teyo Johnson
4) Trent Dilfer
5) Marshall Faulk and Ricky Williams (in 2005, not 2002)
6) Josh Hughes
7) Aaron Brooks
8) His whole 2005 draft but he made the playoffs anyway
9) Kevin Jones
10) Antowain Smith

Bonus) Keith Byars

Scope Creep inks both first rounders!!!

In a stunning move, Scope Creep inked both of its first round selections today further solidifying there championship defense for the next three years. Both selections, Bobby Boucher and Daniel Bateman, are linebackers that not only bring intensity to every play, but also have a knack for making big plays.

When asked about predicting future contributions to the team Boucher said, "Mama thinks fooseball is the devil, but Mr. Coach-Kline doesn't." Boucher further stated that will ask ensure that the entire team is fully hydrated for each event. Bateman was a bit more intense when addressing this reporter in saying "I got the ball!!!!!!!...I got the ball!!!!!...I GOT IT!!!!" while blood soaked sweat flowed from a four inch gash on his nose.

In other Scope Creep news, General Manager Dan Greco has narrowed his list of coaching candidates down to five and will be scheduling final round interviews this week. Finally, Greco is leaving this week for one final "Princeton" scouting combine in an effort to finalize his draft shopping list before the upcoming August 19th draft in Delaware.

Mike Bell?!

Derek, is Mike Shanahan serious? I really think he is messing with the fantasy world. Who the hell is Mike Bell?

Real Men of Genius...

Here's to you, Mr. Fantasy Football Commissioner...

Mr. Fantasy Football Commissioner!

Every summer you get 10 of your friends together to draft, trade, and claim players like they're running a real professional football team...

We run the West Coast Offense!

Whether they drafted 3 Tight Ends, 2 Kickers, or Aaron Brooks. At no point is everyone as optimistic as they are at the end of six hours of alcohol inebriation that is your Fantasy Football Draft...

I'm going all the way!!

For it's the Commissioner that's able to write Keeper Rules, Scoring Values, and talk trash on the league bulletin board, because he is the only owner in the league...without a girlfriend.

He ain't getting no ass!

So here's to you Mr. Fantasy Football Commissioner. An Ice Cold Bud Light for allowing grown men and women at or approaching their thirties to still live out their fantasies...

Mr. Fantasy Football Commissioner!

Warm Scotch Names Coach

Unable to locate "Coach" to coach, Warm Scotch General Manager Scott Isaacs instead turned to a man who knows something about hustle and dedication, former Celtic and current announcer Tommy Heinsohn. Even though Tommy's forte is hoops, the crusty coach says the lure of winning Tommy Points on a weekly basis will be enough for Team Scotch to excel on the football field.



In unrelated news, I present pictures of Katharine McPhee.

Taking aim at all you suckas

I was going to post some boobies, but didn't want to offend Scott. I'll put something special for him too.

Lynches name Head Cheerleader

4th and Lynches have named owner Derek's favorite Adult Film Star Sunrise Adams as "Head Cheerleader" for the 2006 squad. Adams beat out Stormy Daniels, Jennie Finch, Jenn Sterger and American Idol contestant Melissa McGhee in auditions, which unfortunately never took place.

You can see more pics of Ms. Adams in her cheerleader outfit here. Should you view them at work? Well, its a link to pictures of a porn star on the internet. What do you think?

So, you're looking for a team name......

If you've been pondering the perfect team name for a fantasy football team other than traditional "Giants" or "Jets" try some of these;

* "The Lally Gaggers"
* "Tastes Like Chicken"
* "Naked Bootlegs"
* "Intentional Grounding"
* "Long Island Iced Tease"
* "Personal Fowls"
* "Lettuce Lap Munchers"
* "Dutch Ovens"
* "Fah'Q's"
* "Caucasian Sensations"
* "Unruly Bartenders"
* "The Usual Suspects"
* "MILF Hunters"
* "Amish Electricians"
* "Menance to Sobriety"
* "Alcoholics Unanimous"
* "Duante's Inferno" (I think Bill used this once)
* "Huge B(.)(.)bs"

Odd, but funny;
* "Off in the woods" -So when anyone beats me,they can say “I beat off in the woods!
* "With Another Man’s Testicles" -"Hey, who ya playin next week?""Oh, I’m just playing With Another Man’s Testicles."

Look Up!

You're all on the clock!

Predicting Jerseys Worn to the Draft

Mike - Vilma
Josh - Randle El
Brian - Mangold
Horse - Dawkins
Greco - Shockey
Derek - Lynch
Erin - Coles
Billy - Dent
Kevin - McNabb
Isaacs - Clemens

Draft Day Strategy - Tight Ends

When all else fails, draft three tight ends......

Derek's Top 5 RB's

These are the five RB's I am looking to pick up on draft day and hope don't get picked by anyone else. Some could be consider sleepers.

5. Brandon Jacobs, New York Giants
4. Thomas Jones, Chicago
3. Fred Taylor, Jacksonville
2. Ricky Williams, Miami
1. Marcel Shipp, Arizona

Now don't tell anyone, it's a secret!

Welcome!

ESPN is not as liberal as some other sites as far as comment and bulletin board posting. To skirt this issue I have reserved space on blogspot for us to post ANYTHING we want. Owners should keep in mind that anything NSFW will probably be posted on here so be careful checking this site at work. Owners who are posting anything NSFW should use this forum rather than the ESPN site. A link to this blog will be on our league page at all times.

Hope this blog adds to your Fantasy Football experience.

Sincerely,

Your Commissioner
Derek